Love at First Gift Card, Part 1

January 21st, 4PM

I was contacted by a complete stranger on FB Messenger, by the alleged name of “Anne Virgil Taylor”. She added me; I accepted the add and initiated the conversation.

Conversation:

Me: Hi

Anne: Hey

Me: Do I know you?

Anne: I’m so sorry just came across your profile that’s why I add you

Me: Lol it’s all good
What’s up?

Anne: I’m doing good
And you?

Me: Exhausted, probably sick, but nothing new, I’m sure it’s just a matter of riding it out

Anne: Oh, What’s your full names?

[At this point, I’m fairly sure this is either a bot or a scam, although I’m leaning in the direction of bot, due to not knowing what my name is even though it shows on messenger.]

Me: Why?

Anne: Nothing,Just wanna know you more?

Me: It should show it on messenger 😛

Anne: My full names is Anne Virgil Taylor
What is your birth day?

Me: November 5th [I’ve got plenty of details that are easily faked while being made to look real, and don’t keep my DOB a closely guarded secret, but giving it to someone that’s obviously nefarious seemed like a bad idea – so Guy Fawkes Night seemed as good a day as any]

Anne: Jan 24, 1988

Me: Cool – where are you from?

Anne: What’s colour is your hair

Me: Depends on the time
Right now it’s yellow

Anne: Mine is Light brown
What’s the colour of your eyes

Me: Pink
I have pink eye

Anne: Mine is brown
How tall are you?

Me: 205 cm [6’8″; Guy Fawkes was apparently really tall]

Anne: I’m 5″5

Me: Why are you using weird units?

Anne: Where were you born?

Me: York, England

Anne: I was born and raised up in Toluco, Mexico but currently living in Pearsall, Texas with my brother

Me: Are you being deported?

Anne: No, I’m not
How long have you lived there?

Me: I don’t live there

Anne: Where did you live?

Me: Westminster [if you don’t know why I picked this, there’s nothing I can do for you]

Anne: Not quite long 4/5 month
Have you been married before and for how long?

Me: Yes, for 14 years

Anne: Not quite long 1 and half yrs
ou ever been into any kinda relationship before? What will you like to tell me more about that?

Me: Huh?

Anne: You ever been into any kinda relationship before? What will you like to tell me more about that? [thanks, adding a “Y” to your initial question makes it so much more clear]

Me: I don’t understand

Anne: Have you been into a bad relationship before?

[At this point, the (very low) bar for “Am I talking to an actual person on the other end, or an automated script?” has been met. It’s still a bizarre conversation, but I’m clearly talking to a human]

Me: Yes

Anne: What will you like to tell me more about that?

Me: My older brothers sold me into human trafficking [I had the Biblical story of Joseph and his brothers in mind here, I didn’t know what else to roll with]

Anne: So sorry to hear, Have been into a bad relationship. My ex-hurt and cheated on me a lot, that’s why am online to give it a try

Me: Makes sense

Anne: Are you married and how about kids?

Me: No I can’t have kids
I was born with shrunk testicles [trolling LPT: absurd things like this can come in handy later]

Anne: Why?
I’m single never married with no kids,but I have been in a bad relationship before and I don’t want that to happen to me anymore

Me: So how are you going to prevent it?
?

Anne: How old are you?

Me: 42

Anne: I’m 30 years old

Me: I extrapolated that from your birthday you mentioned earlier 😛

Anne: So sorry
My birthday is Jan 24 of this month

Me: I know you said that earlier

Anne: Which kind of gift are you going to give me

Me: Lol idk what kind of gift do you want?

Anne: Maybe Something like Amazon gift card, iTunes card

Hope you gonna give me that gift

Me: Surr
*sure

Anne: Oh really

Me: Yeah why not?

Anne: Which one are you gonna get for me
Is it iTunes card or Amazon gift card

Me: Idk yet
Which one is cheaper?

Anne: I prefer iTunes card

Me: Ok
What’s your address? I’ll mail it to you asap

Anne: All you just needs to do is go to the nearest store close to you purchase the itunes card scratch it take a pics both front and back snapped

Me: I was born with a genetic defect so I can’t scratch them, but I can mail it to you unscratched
What’s your address?

Anne: You don’t need to send it to my address, Besides how much did you wanna get for me

Me: I was thinking $5 though the stamp to mail it costs like 40 cents so probably $10
If I’m not sending it to your address then whose address am I sending it to?

Anne: That’s really too small William
You can get like $50 or $100

Me: That’s what all the girls tell me

Anne: I promise that I’m not gonna leave you
I will stand by you
Trust me on this one

Me: Okay. So who am I mailing the $50 red lobster gift card to? [she totally misses the “red lobster” part here, there’s no way anybody in the US doesn’t know what Red Lobster is]

Anne: Baby me of course

Me: Okay what’s your address?

Anne: Baby, why don’t you wanna buy the card at the nearest store close to you

Me: That’s what I’m doing, but I need to know where to send it

Anne: Okay, Will try to send you my mail

Me: Ok

This is the right one right?

Anne: Okay, when are you gonna get the card
This is not the card I’m talking about

Me: Okay which one

Anne: You can only the card I’m talking in the store
Just purchased and scratch the iTunes card and snap both front and back to me
I’m talking about an iTunes card

Me: What do you mean by snap?
Like Snapchat?

Anne: Yeah I mean just place the card on a table or stood and camera it and sent it to me here

Me: Baby I don’t have a camera

Anne: No, You have a camera [lol, called out]
Just purchased and scratch it at the store and Snapchat both front and back of the card and sent it to me

Me: Are you sending me a camera?

Anne: No, they can’t send camera [I’m still curious who “they” are. At this point, I am honestly wondering if this is some farmed-out or organized operation]
Just purchased and scratch it at the store and Snapchat both front and back of the card and sent it to me

Me: So how am I going to take a picture of it if you’re not sending me a camera?
I can just mail it to you. $100 card
?

Anne: They can’t send camera

Me: Okay I can send card
Where do I send card to

Anne: Okay

Me: Address?

Anne: You don’t need to that

Me: Okay baby
If you don’t want the card that’s fine but I can’t take picture, only send mail

Anne: Annevirgiltaylor05@gmail.com [this address will become relevant later]
For me I really prefer snapping the card both front and back

Me: No not email
An address, like this:
935 Pennsylvania Ave
Washington, DC 20535
Do you have an address that looks like that?
I bought a card that looks like this: 
But the post office isn’t open today so I will have to mail it to you tomorrow once I have your address

Anne: Oh really, I don’t like to be sending something to my address, Beside I’m not the owner of the house

Me: Oh who is the owner?

Anne: We rented it William
Have you gone to the store
How much is card you wanna get for me

Me: I showed you
$200

Anne: I want the card $100 and $100 don’t send full $200 alone

Me: Why not?

Anne: I want $100 2 piece if you wanna send me the card
Or will you send me money

Me: Okay
I can send you straight money if you prefer
Do you want a gift card or do you want me to send cash?

Anne: Baby, Don’t worry I would prefer the iTunes card

Me: Okay I can do that

Anne: Will you go and get me the card at the store right now

Me: Yes
But I won’t be able to mail it to you until tomorrow when the post office opens

Anne: Okay How long will it takes you to get the card

Me: Idk like 15 min?

Anne: Okay Hope you get I want $100 two piece…okay
When are you gonna get it for me tomorrow

Me: I can mail it tomorrow morning
But I need your address first

Anne: I can’t send the address, I’m not the owner of the house
Once you got the card just snap it and send it to me both front and back

Me: Do you have a PO box?
Baby
I do not have a camera
I cannot take pictures

Anne: No, I don’t have it

Me: Okay
Even if you’re not the owner you can still get mail right?

Anne: Okay when you got the card tomorrow, Borrow cellphone from anyone who relate to you and snap the pics
You don’t need to stess yourself
Just borrow a cellphone from your relative

Me: I don’t have any family here

Anne: Okay, Borrow a cellphone from someone and snap it

Me: Can you send me a cell phone to borrow?

Anne: Okay how did you post your profile pics [shiiiiiiiiiit]

Me: I had a camera like 3 years ago but I dropped it in the toilet when I was taking pics of my small testicles to show my doctor

Anne: Okay if you really love me, Borrow a cellphone from someone and snap the pics
Which time tomorrow

Me: I can mail it to you

Anne: Which time tomorrow

Me: 9AM

Anne: What’s time there with you now

Me: It’s night time right now

Anne: Okay

Me: Do you have the address I’m mailing it to? Or is there a friend I can mail it to that can give it to you?

Anne: No I don’t have friend

Me: Me neither 😞

Anne: Okau
Once you got the card find some cellphone and snap both front and back

Me: I have a cell phone
Why do I need to find one?

Anne: I will expecting tomorrow

Me: My cell phone does not have a camera on it

Anne: Then use your camera to snap the card if you want give something for my birthday

Me: Can I send you money with Western Union?

Anne: Go and buy a phone with 📷

Me: Okay

Anne: Once you got the card find some cellphone and snap both front and back

Me: I will do that

Anne: We talk about it tomorrow okay

Me: But if I buy a camera I can only get a $25 card
Is that okay?

Anne: Why??

Me: Because the camera costs money 😞

Anne: Okay send the $25 tomorrow

Me: Okay
<3

Anne: Okay I will be expecting it
Can you make it $100

Me: I can mail you $100 or I can buy a camera and take a picture of $25
Which do you want?

Anne: What’s about $50
$25 is too small

Me: I can mail you two $50 cards if you would like

Anne: No I only want $50
Please get it $50 for me

Me: Okay

Anne: Will you get $50

Me: Yes

Anne: You send me both front and back $50

Me: Yes

Anne: Okay
I will be expecting it tomorrow

Me: It takes several days to deliver mail baby

Anne: Okay
Which time tomorrow
Where do you live?

Me: I can pay for overnight shipping

Anne: What did you mean

Me: You said you want it there tomorrow, the fastest way is to mail it with overnight shipping

Anne: Where do you live

Me: I already told you that earlier… Weren’t you listening to me baby?

Anne: So sorry

Me: It’s okay Anne 🙂

to be continued, after I get the gift card. The time is now 6:23PM.

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